Sleeping Under Enon

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Time-Travelling Muslims & Ground Zero

Emmett Brown

'Doc', the time travelling Muslim out to get you and your children. Image via Wikipedia

As everyone else has been discussing it, I thought I’d throw in my two cents; the mosque at Ground Zero. Few things in the news lately (I’ve mostly being following the debacle via the TIME articles) have frustrated me more and given my general political leaning it’s hardly surprising.

First thing’s first, it’s not at Ground Zero (it’s about three blocks away). Somehow this has managed to escape many people’s considerations when they decided to opine on the subject. Not only that, but it isn’t even a mosque (it’s a centre covering various cultural aspects of Islam). So the debate might as well be about the proposal to halt StayPuft Marshmallow Man from terrorizing Ground Zero. For one, it’d be a more interesting debate, if only because the news would feature lots of footage from the first Ghostbuster’s film, which is far more entertaining than listening to closet (if that closet were five storeys high with a 10 foot burning cross atop it) racists try to form sentences coherent enough to make a soundbite for FOX news.

So now that that has been pointed out, there’s very little discussion to have. But since Americans seem to have a long tradition of talking seriously about fantasy as if it were somehow related to reality (I’m definitely not making a jab at Christianity here), it’s probably worth pursuing in a bit more detail. This is made slightly more difficult by the cat licking my hand whilst I try to type this post.

What is fantastically, mind-bogglingly ludicrous about the furore is that there is already a mosque in that area that’s been there about thirty years. Check here for a Google Maps view to see just how close it is to Ground Zero. So if Muslim’s, as one coherent single mind, really did want to place some kind of giant victory building near Ground Zero, they seem to have done it pre-emptively some 20+ years before 9/11. So either the Muslim community are extremely patient or are time travellers subverting the American dream like some dastardly ‘Doc’ Emmett Brown.

All sorts of fantastically clued up individuals are coming out of the woodwork to stop this terrifying evil not build a building that isn’t a mosque at Ground Zero. Take Pamela Geller, who doesn’t just want to make clear how much she doesn’t like Muslims in America, but is more than happy to stand shoulder to shoulder with the English Defence League, who are definitely not an outright racist bunch of thugs (depressingly, the phone threats in the video are from people in, or heavily involved with, Birmingham; the city I grew up in). With endorsements like that it’s a mystery why real political discussion with people who actually know what they’re talking about haven’t come to their senses and immediately nuked the entire area of New York just to purge America from this obvious threat.

So yes, 70% of Americans don’t want a mosque at Ground Zero, despite the fact that there was never going to be a mosque at Ground Zero, the proposed building causing the uproar isn’t a mosque, and that there already was an actual mosque in the area that has been there since the 1970’s. So if racist, misinformed rants about a non-existent threat haven’t cheered you up and kept alive your faith in mankind, you’ll be relieved to know that on August 21st we officially ran out of resources for the rest of the year. Doesn’t that give you a warm tingly glow? Admittedly that glow is probably caused by seemingly irreversible rising temperatures, but that’s a small price to pay for access to high-speed porn, right? At least when our cities finally go the way of Atlantis, we’ll be able to post one last Twitter update whilst wanking ourselves blind; hurray!


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